After one year of mayhem involving green haired furry rodents, !Cat brings you "Lemming Spang", the chance to spang a few lemmings. Have you ever wanted to blow the cacke out of their blue suits. Just pick up your mouse and pelt those vermin into oblivion. Anyway, enough of the intro, here's the real scroll text. Greetings fellow earthlings, !Cat here. Hope you are all well. Use letter keys (I've forgotten how many) to change the tune, and the rest you can work out for yourself. What do you mean you can't work it out! You're already clever enough to buy an Archimedes, so you'll have to use ya loaf. Jokes are very thin on the ground at the moment, but if you know the one about the essex girl and Tom Jones, write and tell me, apparently it's quite good. Archimedes Supplier Blacklist follows: Watford Craptronics and Manor Court Supplies (where are my discs?). I am currently working on an animation, with full sampled speech, but it looks like 2mb owners only at the moment, unless you want 10 minutes loading with about 3 seconds motion. Our game (working title Bob and Wally) is getting on well, but we would like lots of offers from BIG companies (i.e. money) to support us in this time of recession. Greeting to . . . Mark, Bert, Hans, Worm, Shortie, Yo Mar (Omar), Jam (flirter or what?), Bailey (we know what you get up to outside the school gates!), the lasses in 11J and 11T (oo, so sexy), Big JD Splaper man (our headmaster) and Vic (Deputy Head). If you are famous and are reading this, or are reading this and want to be famous, then let me know at 2, Back Mount Joy Durham City DH1 3AZ That's 2 Back Mount Joy Durham City DH1 3AZ (see also !Help file for address). Well yesiree I'm hungry, see you later . . . . Mmm, feeling fully refreshed, I aim to continue the Rhubarb. Irrelevant phrases now to try on your granny: Pass the knicker elastic Uncle, I'm just baking the cake. My father works in a bank. I've seen you in Vox magazine. Slap me with a wet fish please sir. Screwdriver, no thank you, I'm trying to give them up. That book was tasty. Dig for victory. The choice of experience. More jokes. . . . Son: Dad, Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for a new swimming pool. Dad: Give him a glass of water then. Prison Officer: I'm going to have to lock you up for the night. Prisoner: What's the charge? Prison Officer: No charge, it's on her majesty. On the first evening in their new home, the bride went into the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living room in tears. "What's the matter?" asked her husband. "Oh, Andrew, I put the ice cubes in water to wash them, and now they've disappeared." I've had to give up tap dancing. I keep falling in the sink. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Well, for your biggest secret, you talk for a bit, and then . . . the scroller loops by accident . . .
